Have lunch with gods and prophets. See the words of the Lord in new and interesting ways. See, for the first time ever, the world through the eyes of the most complicated and enigmatic prophet to ever (maybe really) live. Narrated in his own words and voice. Sit down with Jesus and hear him recount how his father created the worlds, including where he got the idea and sections missing from all other known holy texts, even the made up ones. Listen to a harrowing tale of addiction and redemption as he recounts the missing years of his life, on record for the first time in all time. Walk the dark streets of the youth of the first child star. Learn of the first band of apostles and their inevitable break up. Is there a woman who drives a wedge between Jesus and his first favorite? Perhaps a greedy record executive who convinces Jesus to dump the boy band lifestyle and venture out on his own? Most likely none of that happens as this is back cover material, which never really has anything to do with what's inside the book. So what does happen? Pick up this brilliantly faux-faux-leather clad tome and find out. Jesus will tell you in his own time and his own way. You are the priest to the Lord's confession, but only for a Brief and Literal History of the World.