People say that what you give is what you get. That you need to slow down and soak in life. People will also tell you that the essence of joy is found within the appreciation of the little things. Simply put, these people are idiots. Planting a garden will leave you with sore knees and throbbing blisters. Taking the scenic route will make you late. You cannot pay your mortgage with the laughter of children. Anyone can hold a door open for a stranger - but it takes a rare and special breed to trip them in the process.