I was bored at work, stuck in too many situations out of my control, and having sex with men to forget my worries and failure. I lied to myself that a trip would bring me to the present, living moment to moment. Instead, I was too worried the entire time about what I ate, where I slept, and when I'd fly back. I thought the idea of the "law of attraction" was bullshit, but what I thought about I brought about. I learned that we have a choice and I continually chose the wrong one.