In the west, a Shade is brewing. In the east, coffee is ready. In the small town of Paranore, Bill is fighting with his sister while Luke is getting beat up by his brother. Naturally, they leave town as soon as they can, seeking their heroic destinies. Luckily for them, Moron the Shady Lord is launching his latest and greatest invasion of Slightly Off Center Earth. Joined by Grandlaugh the Wizard's A-team of heroes, Bill and Luke embark on a journey to unite the races of Slightly Off Center Earth for the coming showdown. Along the way they cast the Thing of Power in the Fiery Chasm From Whence It Came, but who cares? Their mettle is put to the test as they outfight, outwit, and outright own treacherous dwarves, lethargic elves, leptonic wizards, awesome ninjas, scurvy pirates, and hungry orcs. One battered step at a time, Bill and Luke discover that being a hero is more than mighty swords or really well-groomed beards. And when final battle against the combined hosts of Moron begins, it is up to them to rally the forces that can save Slightly Off Center Earth from entering the age of In Left Field With a Football Bat. Let arrows be shot, let the dice roll, but do not let Moron pass Go.