Set in the fictional town of Nowhere and set loosely in the 1990s this parody of life in a northern town is underpinned with political and celebrity events of the time. These events will rock all preconceptions of a sleepy market town. With a whole host of characters including defrocked nuns, a cross-dressing husband and a dubious Police Inspector the novel promises to be a tantalising read. Is anyone who they first seem to be? Sinister Peter Dodd a member of the Disciples of God religious cult, living on a Folly atop Ratheugh Crag with his Ukrainian bride Tania. Head teacher Sooty and her partner Lennie, estranged lovers who are both overcome with a passion but not for each other. The Earl and Countess of Nowhere Castle. The Countess dreaming of creating her very own Versailles whilst the Earl cultivates exotic plants in his aptly named potting shed. Louisa and Joey, newcomers to the sleepy market town but soon embroiled in hidden agendas of their own. Bob the cross-dressing taxi driver hiding his love for all things silky and his wife Yvonne hiding her love for Clive the Publican. Defrocked nun Jean mourning the loss of her long time partner Lucy and looking for love in all the wrong places. Liz the private investigator arriving in Nowhere to dish the dirt on a suspected adulterer and suddenly transported into solving the biggest crime of the 1970s. As lives interweave and secrets are exposed you will never take anything at face value again.