The story of a mediocre sportsman, charting his dizzying rise from fleshy weekend golfer to bony weekend triathlete

Martyn Brunt was an unsporty office drone from Coventry, until one day he jacked it all in and decided to follow his dream of becoming an athlete. But little did he know the dream would lead to his ruin . . .

As one of Britain's least successful athletes, Martyn reveals how he got involved in all this nonsense to start with, including:

· how being last pick at school football in the 1970s prepared him for lifelong incompetence at team games
· how he overcame a crippling lack of talent and his family's chorus of complete indifference to struggle through ten Ironmans
· his many triathlon mishaps, including being lost at sea, incontinence, driving bans, broken bones, public nudity, trapped in Belgian portaloos, and much more