Things happened to me as a child, which shouldn't have. For many years I hid these memories away from everyone, including myself. A few years ago I started to have awful dreams, followed by panic attacks, and then depression. It was only through this, and the therapy I received, that I began to remember what had happened to me. For many years I have written down the way I feel about various aspects of my life. Here are some about what I went through, trying to come to terms with a past that I'd rather pretend didn't happen. I hope that perhaps my writings could help others in coming to terms with what they suffered too, and show them that what they feel is not unusual. All money raised from the sale of this book, will go to EVA - Emerging from Violence and Abuse a charity which helps survivors recover.