Here is an Egypt you won't find in your travel books. Some of the memorable characters and places you'll meet: The FAA inspector who is afraid to fly on Egypt Air. The repressed swingers of Club Med. Cabbies who drive their taxis on the sidewalk. The guide who hates Egypt and all its contents. The woman who creates a scandal in the bazaar. An unnoticed remnant of ancient times in the middle of Cairo. The place where the dead live better than the living. The tragic guide torn between his culture and Western women. Aswan -- tough tropical paradise in the desert. The ship's captains who glare for hours rather than give way. The other ship's captains who collide rather than give way. The cracked, unfinished obelisk in the 4000 year old stoneyard. Chariot races and a deadly crash, sort of. The naive American showing a workman her "big heart," until he grabs it. Society ladies who become international felons. The girl who imagines she was attacked in a temple. The pilot who dives his plane into a box canyon. The insane desk clerk who claims his empty hotel is too full. The woman who seduces a monk. The Texan who receives the Word on Mount Sinai. Airline pilots who change flights without telling the airport. Scuba diving in a chimney. Running in a sandstorm. As a bonus, you also get: How to avoid disembowelment on a camel. A guide to the Muslim, for beginners. An expose of King Tut, the murderer. Several fine engineering and religious theories. Why it was all the fault of Cleopatra. At the end, you will know the real Egypt. Good luck if you go there.