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America, But Better: The Canada Party Manifesto

Autor Chris Cannon, Brian Calvert
en Limba Engleză Paperback – 3 aug 2012
From the country that brought toques and Justin Bieber comes a plan to restore America to its former glory. The leader is Canada. Following their viral YouTube campaign, the leaders of the Canada Party unveil their platform for U.S. presidency.
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Specificații

ISBN-13: 9781771000628
ISBN-10: 1771000627
Pagini: 149
Ilustrații: B&W illustrations, Maps, Charts, Tables
Dimensiuni: 129 x 198 x 10 mm
Greutate: 0.15 kg
Editura: DOUGLAS & MCINTYRE
Locul publicării:Canada

Cuprins

Outline:
Table of Contents
Foreword from the English Empire
Introduction
1. America and Canada: Continental BFFs
• MAP: How America Sees Canada
• MAP: How Canada Sees America
• Marrying Our Governments (After Verifying They Are Different Genders, of Course)
• Canadian Fashion: Our "Wear What You Kill" Policy
• Obesity: Big Thoughts on Big People
• The U.S. Constitution, Annotated
• Thoughts on Relieving America's Sexual Tension
• The Lucas Plan: Fixing America with CGI
• Combining Our Cities: Welcome to Van Francisco, Dirty Hippie Capitol of the World!
• Understanding Hockey, from the Country That Gave You Football and Basketball (True Story)
• Star Track: We Gave You Shatner, You Gave Us Bacula. Do the Math.

2. It's a Small World (Unless You're, Like, an Amoeba or Something)
• American Exceptionalism, or How to Make Other Countries Feel Bad About Their Bodies
• Killing with Kindness, Torturing with Tenderness
• Weaponizing Politeness: Fight Like a Canadian!
• The United Nations and Other Global Oxymorons
• Showing Nature Who's Boss
• Repelling Immigrants from Your Southern Border (We Have Experience)
• How to Dodge the Draft Without Bringing Your Neighbors Into It
• A Simple Solution for Integrating Our Indigenous Peoples (Just Kidding -We Have No Idea)
• Un-American Idol: How Reality Shows Can Stop Illegal Immigration

3. The Irony of Being Ironic in a Post-Ironic Age
• Making English the Official Language for Native English Speakers
• DisneyCorps: Why We Should Turn FOX News over to Michael Bay
• Living in Fear: Lessons from Godly Folk
• Gun Control: How to Aim Properly
• Cults of Personality, or Cults of the Lack Thereof
• Rewriting U.S. Law (Citizens United: What Else Can Be People?)
• The Internet: Why Are We Trying to Regulate Porn?
• The Metric System: Exactly Ten Times More Awesome than Imperial Units
• How to Say You're Sorry Without Looking Like a Total Pussy

4. Treating Experts Like Mammals: An Ideological Throwdown!
• Science vs Religion (Spoiler: Science Wins in Overtime!)
• Grampa Lost His Shins in the Big One: Our Statute of Limitations on Living Off Other Peoples' Sacrifices.
• Consuming Our Future: Some Tasty, Post-Apocalypse Recipes
• It's Not Easy Being Greenpeace
• What To Do With "The Gays"
• Health Care: A 10-Part Dental Plan for Hockey Players
• Weed. Sweet, Sweet Weed.
• Crime and Punishment, and Then Crime Again
• Combining Our Icons (Introducing the Eagle Beaver!)
• Notes on the American Dream, from the Country You Kick in Your Sleep

5. Appendices
• Tear-out application forms for elected officials
• Mad-libs (How different media outlets get their news)

6. Sidebars
• Campaign promises sprinkled throughout the book
• Timeline of U.S. Canadian history
• U.S.-Canada comparison chart
• Quizzes at the end of each chapter

Recenzii

America, But Better is a beguiling little bagatelle in a dispiriting political year, and Chris Cannon and Brian Calvert are to be thanked for adding maybe the only dash of humour to the entire proceedings,… So as we prepare for two national conventions in which nothing will happen and three presidential debates in which no minds will be changed, maybe we should junk the whole thing and take a few pages from the Canada Party manifesto”—David M. Shribman, executive editor of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, in The Globe and Mail

Notă biografică

Chris Cannon is an American writer from Oklahoma living in Vancouver, B.C. He is the author of four books and hundreds of articles in magazines including Rolling Stone, Men’s Journal, and Billboard. A former U.S. Marine Corps sergeant, Chris served in the intelligence and counterterrorism fields as well as the Presidential honor guard. He spent two years on White House duty under Bush 1 and Clinton, marched in Clinton’s inauguration parade, and was a member of the Silent Drill Team. A graduate of Columbia University and the University of Chicago, Chris now teaches cultural criticism, satire, and magazine journalism at the University of British Columbia.

Years after earning a Masters’ degree studying tumor biology at the University of Saskatchewan, Brian M. Calvert began his second career focusing on comedic writing, acting and producing. The bulk of his earlier work was via collaborations with the online sketch comedy groups ChurchofJerks.com and VILLAGEiDiOT.ca, both of which he helped create. In total, he has written, acted, produced, directed or edited over 50 short films and 5 multi-media (live &video) stage shows. Brian was born and raised in Ontario, completing much of his schooling in Sarnia, border city to Port Huron, Michigan. He now lives in Vancouver.