This is a retelling of Ben Jonson's satire THE FOUNTAIN OF SELF-LOVE, OR CYNTHIA'S REVELS. Reading this retelling will make reading the original play much easier. Do you know a language other than English? If you do, I give you permission to translate this book, copyright your translation, publish or self-publish it, and keep all the royalties for yourself. (Do give me credit, of course, for the original retelling.) I would like to see my retellings of classic literature used in schools, so I give permission to the country of Finland (and all other countries) to give copies of any or all of my retellings to all students forever. I also give permission to the state of Texas (and all other states) to give copies of any or all of my retellings to all students forever. I also give permission to all teachers to give copies of any or all of my retellings to all students forever. Of course, libraries are welcome to use my eBooks for free. Teachers need not actually teach my retellings. Teachers are welcome to give students copies of my eBooks as background material. For example, if they are teaching Homer's Iliad and Odyssey, teachers are welcome to give students copies of my Virgil's Aeneid: A Retelling in Prose and tell them, "Here's another ancient epic you may want to read in your spare time."