A bitter nihilist finds the most gruesome way to masturbate. A dying Elvis finds pure joy wrapped in cling film by Roy Orbison. A young girl finds passion in a mythical Mexican goat killing vampire dog. A chair is awakened to the pleasure of the flesh by a lusty rug. A man with a glorious mustache teaches girls perfect felatio techniche by suckling his stache. Presidential perversion, athletic punishments, fast food icon orgies and much more insane erotica awaits you in this collection of the most bizarre and perverse short fiction from the author of Jonesboria Discordia. Of this work the author speaks, "if you want to find poetry in this book, you will. If you want to find Discordian Sacred Holiness in this book, you will. If you want to get off reading this book, you might. If you want to find mistakes in my writing, you will. If you want to have a good time, just let all that shit go, imagine me reading these stories to you, and allow yourself a laugh or a sad cum, whatever does it for you."