Blood Diaries: Tales of a 6th-Grade Vampire

Edgar Stoker is the wimpiest, dorkiest, most loveable vampire ever.
Blood Diaries is laugh-out-loud FUNNY (it even has bonus random
educational elements)! I’ve been bitten by Edgar Stoker and am hungry
for the next book in the series – I VANT TO SUCK UP EVERY WORD!
-- Laurie Keller, best-selling author of The Scrambled States of America and Arnie the Doughnut.

"Motivated by the sheer challenge of it all, Edgar is resolutely bucking the scorn and (historically justified) fear of his immortal clan to attend middle school and even hang out with human friends. Along with steering clear of garlic and crosses (though not sunlight, thanks to Sun-B-Gone potion concocted by his chemist great-grandmother, Morticia LaBelle von Dead), this means not responding to the schoolwide campaign of vicious harassment that vegan classmate Gertie is orchestrating after getting a gander at his blood-and–raw-meat lunches. But when Edgar does forget himself for a moment and flashes his fangs—suddenly he’s cool! As is her custom, Moss lays out Edgar’s diary entries in a legible “hand-printed” type, and she intersperses small line drawings of the characters with labels or side comments. She also provides Edgar with a truly ingenious ploy that both takes the wind out of Gertie’s sails and, in deference to the urgent demands of his horrified family, quashes the rumors of his vampiredom.

Crisis averted, at the end, Edgar is left looking ahead with fresh confidence to seventh grade. Happily, a planned sequel will allow readers to follow him there. (recipe for “Chocolate Blood Pudding,”)"
-- Kirkus Reviews

"What a fun little story. . .Kids will love the illustrations sprinkled throughout the book. Quite a few will be able to relate to being different or not being cool enough. So while the story is entertaining, it also teaches acceptance, following the rules, and about making friends."
-- Book Reviews by Tima

"A humorous angle on the struggles of surviving sixth grade. Edgar is a secret vampire at the bottom of the social ladder in both the human and the vampire worlds. But when a bully provokes him, he violates the vampire cardinal rule never to reveal his true identity to a human. Suddenly, his school popularity soars, but his rating with his family plummets. Moss fills the novel with intriguing vampire information, and Edgar, who wants to be "one of the few vampires who faces the middle school years with grit and determination," is immediately likeable."
-- San Jose Mercury News

"Once I started I could NOT put it down. It’s so much fun! It accurately portrays the life of a middle-schooler with a devastating secret (which we all have). This book takes pre-teens through the ever changing idiocy that is peer pressure, fitting-in, and making friends.
A great book – that I’m insisting my kids read!"
--Hott Books reviews

"This book provides a humorous angle on the struggles of surviving 6th grade. . . Moss fills the novel with intriguing vampire information, and Edgar, who wants to be 'one of the few vampires who faces the middle school years with grit and determination,' is immediately likable."
-- Oakland Tribune

"The story and its quirks are hilariously right on to life as a pre-teen. By the end of the first chapter, your child will be TOTALLY immersed in the book. . . There are puns aplenty in this book, so much so that adult readers will find it laugh out loud funny as well! The illustrations are cute and perfectly match the tone of the story. This book will give parents and preteens lots to talk about and share, and it's a fun read at 125 pages!"
-- Bless Their Hearts Mom reviews

"Clever allegories, surprising farces, and hidden meanings create a page turner. Amazing insights to bigotry and prejudice are told in a hilarious style. What a delightful discovery!"
-- The Baytown Sun

"Blood Diaries by Marissa Moss is a hoot! Think of it as a cross between Diary of a Wimpy Kid (without all the mean stuff happening to Rowley) and the I Funny series."
-- Unconventional Librarian Book Reviews

"If I could, I'd give it 20 stars!"
--San Francisco Book Review

"Blood Diaries is clever and hilarious, and even the most reluctant readers won’t be able to resist its witty charm. Sure it’s yet another book about vampires – but with a totally fresh and super hilarious premise. First of all, it is written from the point of view of a sixth grader, with all of the raw honesty you’d expect from a kid’s private diary; the font even looks like handwriting. Edgar has many of the same qualities as many of his classmates, and is an intelligent, believable and lovable character – despite the absurd premise that he loves to suck the blood out of pigs when no one else is looking. Readers will be able to relate to him, because they too want to fit in with their friends at school, and we all know how rough middle school can be. Author Marissa Moss manages to magically write like a kid herself as if she’s had her own firsthand experience as a preteen vampire. The hand drawings in the book add a touch of more humor to the story too.

The bottom line is that Blood Diaries is a comical, well-written take on an absurd premise that works wonders on entertaining middle readers of all types. Any book that gets kids excited about reading is a great book. From what I’ve seen so far, Creston Books may be a small press, but they consistently publish really unique and wonderful books for kids."
--SmartBooksforSmartKids

"This book is laugh-out-loud awesome! Had me smiling and shaking my head along with Edgar's. The illustrations add humor and perspective and really create the tone and point of view of Edgar. Written with sarcasm over the course of a month,this diary is perfect for middle and upper elementary students."
-- Novel Nutritious

A wonderfully funny read that will also show you how to solve a problem.
– Children's Web Magazine

"Moss. . . writes with a style that is easy-to-read and filled with humor. If you’re a fan of vampire tales, you won’t want to miss this version. If you’re not, you might want to read this anyway, just to give yourself a new perspective on the subject."
--KidsReads

"It's a neat trick to spin a light spoof with hefty themes that include mindful eating, scapegoating, bullying, being an outsider and coming out as a proud vampire."
--San Francisco Chronicle

Marissa Moss has written and illustrated more than 50 books for children. Her popular Amelia's Notebook series has sold millions of copies and been translated into five languages. The recipient of numerous awards, including ALA Notable, Best Books in Booklist, Amelia Bloomer Pick of the List, and the California Book Award, she lives in Berkeley, CA.

Beginning of Book:

My name is Edgar and I’m a vampire. Kidding! I just have very sharp teeth. No, that’s not true. Well, it is true, I do have sharp teeth. But that’s because I am a vampire. Really. Only the thing is, it’s a secret.

Obviously my family knows. They’re all vampires, too – Mom, Dad, Grandmother, Grandfather, Granny, Gramps, great-grandparents, great-great-grandparents, great-great-great-grandparents (you get the idea), all my aunts and uncles and cousins. But the kids at school don’t know. And according to my parents, they can’t know, not ever.

I’ve heard this lecture for as long as I can remember.

“If a mortal discovers our true nature, there will be a vicious mob at our doors, armed with stakes and torches. It’s happened before and it can happen again. A couple of centuries ago, Cousin Julius bit a dog in the park – the stupid fool couldn’t wait until dark. He was too hungry, and the dog smelled delicious, like the kind you would slurp up slathered with onions and relish.
Anyway, a man strolling by saw Julius with fangs bared and raised such a ruckus you wouldn’t believe! Julius flew home, but it was too late, word was out.
When it was over, all that was left of Julius was a pile of garlic-covered ashes.”

Grandfather always leans forward and stares at me with his glittering cold eyes whenever he comes to the end of the story.
“And that’s why,” he grills the moral into me, “that’s why we may walk among mortals, but we can NEVER trust them. They’re never our friends!”