"I am awfully greedy; I want everything from life. I want to be a woman and to be a man, to have many friends and to have loneliness, to work much and write good books, to travel and enjoy myself, to be selfish and to be unselfish... You see, it is difficult to get all which I want. And then when I do not succeed I get mad with anger." Simone de Beauvoir I often found myself lost in the same thought. Wanting everything but focused on nothing in particular. Seemed all I was doing was spinning in the mud. What follows is a several thoughts and ideas that helped me find a focus. Some may find some contradictions, but I am not claiming these are the one and only true path. I honestly believe that only you can find your path. What I have gathered here are ideas for you to wrestle with, tear apart, argue with and use to form your own design, your own map to plot your journey. I do wish for you to use these words to start to become more self-aware. To recognize your day to day feelings and moods and what annoys you. I want you to live your life less on auto pilot (autopilot isn't always a bad thing) and more on intention. My hope is that you devise a way to have your mind and body work together to develop defenses against the stresses of the world, and circumstance and its tendency to dictate your life. That you come to understand that self-aware allows you more beneficial decision making, knowledge on when to focus on the specifics rather than hoping to stumble on the right thing. I hope you enjoy these ramblings, I hope you struggle with these ramblings, but most of all I hope you find a direction from them.