John Reisender is puzzled. Why did his great-grandma get married in a Muslim mosque way hell and gone out in the wilds of Central Asia? On the road to finding the answer, he finds himself excommunicated-temporarily-from the Mennonite religion, discovers how his maternal grandfather escaped from czarist Russia, acts as undertaker at his piano teacher's cat's funeral, takes a crash course in Nietzsche from the keeper of the city dump, becomes an unsung accidental semi-hero in a high school football game, escapes death on a spelunking expedition, and falls in lust with a girl who sports a derriere that reminds him of the WWII pinup, Betty Grable. In the end, John is finally able to solve the puzzle of that ancient connection between Mennonites and Muslims. The cast of characters in Christian Bride is prolific and loaded with eccentrics. Somewhere Dickens must be throwing his hands at each other in glee.