Classical Music For Dummies

David Pogue is a six-time Emmy-winning "CBS Sunday Morning" correspondent, a New York Times bestselling author, and a former Broadway conductor and arranger. Scott Speck is an internationally acclaimed conductor and author who has delighted audiences in London, Paris, Moscow, Beijing, New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, and countless other cities.

Introduction 1 About This Book 1 Foolish Assumptions 2 Icons Used in This Book 2 Beyond the Book 3 Where to Go from Here 4 Part 1: Getting Started With Classical Music 5 Chapter 1: Prying Open the Classical Music Oyster 7 Discovering What Classical Music Really is 8 Figuring Out What You Like 8 The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Composers 9 Their music is from the heart 9 They use a structure that you can feel 9 They're creative and original 10 They express a relevant human emotion 10 They keep your attention with variety and pacing 11 Their music is easy to remember 11 They move you with their creations 12 Chapter 2: The Entire History of Music in 80 Pages 13 Understanding How Classical Music Got Started 13 Chanting All Day: The Middle Ages 14 Gregorian chant 14 A monk named Guido 15 Mass dismissed! 15 The First Composer-Saint 16 Born Again: The Renaissance 16 The madrigal takes off 16 Opera hits prime time 17 Getting Emotional: The Baroque Era 18 Renegade notes on wheels 18 Kings, churches, and other high rollers 19 Antonio Vivaldi 19 George Frideric Handel 21 Johann Sebastian Bach 24 Tightening the Corset: The Classical Style 26 Joseph Haydn 27 Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart 29 Joseph Boulogne, Chevalier de Saint-Georges 34 Ludwig van Beethoven: The man who changed everything 34 Schubert and his Lieder 39 Felix Mendelssohn 42 Fanny Mendelssohn 44 Falling in Love: Hopeless Romantics 45 Carl Maria von Weber 45 Hector Berlioz 46 Frédéric Chopin 49 Robert Schumann 51 Johannes Brahms 54 The superstars: Paganini and Liszt 56 Liszt follows Paganini's lead 57 Richard Wagner 58 Strauss and Mahler 59 Saluting the Flag(s): Nationalism in Classical Music 63 BedYich Smetana 64 Antonín DvoYák 65 Edvard Grieg 67 Jean Sibelius 68 Carl Nielsen 70 Glinka and the Mighty Fistful 71 Peter Tchaikovsky 73 Sergei Rachmaninoff 75 Listening to Music of the 20th Century and Beyond 77 Debussy and Ravel 78 Igor Stravinsky 80 Sergei Prokofiev 83 Dmitri Shostakovich 84 The Second Viennese School 86 The Americans 87 Chapter 3: Spotting a Sonata 95 Symphonies 95 First movement: brisk and lively 96 Second movement: slow and lyrical 97 Third movement: dancy 98 Finale: rollicking 98 Sonatas and Sonatinas 99 Concertos 100 Concerto structure 101 The cadenza 101 Dances and Suites 103 Serenades and Divertimentos 104 Themes and Variations 105 Fantasias and Rhapsodies 106 Tone Poems (Or Symphonic Poems) 107 Lieder (and Follower) 107 Leader of the Lieder 108 Song forms 108 Oratorios and Other Choral Works 109 Operas, Operettas, and Arias 110 Overtures and Preludes 110 Ballets and Ballerinas 111 String Quartets and Other Motley Assortments 112 Why Do You Need a Form, Anyway? 113 Part 2: Listen Up! 115 Chapter 4: Dave 'n' Scott's E-Z Concert Survival Guide(TM) 117 Preparing -- or Not 117 Knowing When to Arrive at the Concert 118 Can I Wear a Loincloth to The Rite of Spring? 119 The Gourmet Guide to Pre-Concert Dining 119 Figuring Out Where to Sit -- and How to Get the Best Ticket Deals 120 To Clap or Not to Clap: That's the Question 122 Why nobody claps 122 More on the insane "no-clap" policy 123 Who to Bring and Who to Leave at Home with the Dog 125 Recognizing Which Concerts to Attend -- or Avoid -- on a Date 125 Peeking at the Concert Program 126 The typical concert format 127 The music itself 129 A different kind of program 130 Introducing the Concertmaster 132 Finding the pitch 133 Twisting and turning, pulling and pushing 133 Enter the Conductor 135 Understanding interpretation 135 Slicing up time 137 Reading the job description 138 Chapter 5: For Your Listening Pleasure 141 1 Handel: Water Music Suite No 2: Alla Hornpipe 142 2 Bach: Well-Tempered Clavier, Book 2: Prelude and Fugue in C Major 143 3 Mozart: Piano Concerto No 22 in E-Flat, Third Movement 145 4 Beethoven: Symphony No 5, First Movement 149 Exposition 150 Development 151 Recapitulation 151 Coda 152 5 Brahms: Symphony No 4, Third Movement 153 6 DvoYák: Serenade for Strings, Fourth Movement 155 7 Tchaikovsky: Symphony No 6, Fourth Movement 156 8 Debussy: La Mer: Dialogue du Vent et de la Mer 158 9 Stravinsky: The Rite of Spring: Opening to the End of Jeu de Rapt 161 Introduction 161 Danses des adolescentes (Dances of the Adolescent Girls) 162 Jeu de rapt (Ritual of Abduction) 163 Intermission: Backstage Tour 165 Living in the Orchestral Fishpond 165 What I Did for Love 166 Going through an Audition 167 An almost-true story 167 Rigged auditions 169 The list 169 The prescription 170 Playing the odds 170 An unexpected meeting 171 The return 171 Onstage 172 Behind the screen 172 The wait 174 The aftermath 175 The Life of an Orchestra Musician, or What's Going on in the Practice Room? 175 Selling the Product 176 Understanding Contract Riders 179 The Strange and Perilous Relationship between an Orchestra and Its Conductor 180 Why an Orchestra Career is Worth the Grief 182 Part 3: A Field Guide To The Orchestra 183 Chapter 6: Keyboards & Co 185 The Piano 185 Looking inside the piano 186 Naming the notes 186 Finding an octave 186 Playing the black keys 187 Looking inside the piano 188 Pressing down the pedals 188 Hearing the piano 190 The Harpsichord 191 Winning the Baroque gold medal 191 Hearing the harpsichord 192 The Organ 193 Pulling out the stops 194 Hearing the organ 194 The Synthesizer 195 Chapter 7: Strings Attached 197 The Violin 198 Drawing the bow 199 Tuning up 199 Playing the violin 200 Vibrating the string 201 The unbearable lightness of bowing 201 Plucking the strings 202 Hearing the violin 203 The Other String Instruments 204 The viola 204 The cello 206 The double bass 208 The harp 209 The guitar 212 Chapter 8: Gone with the Woodwinds 215 The Flute 216 Making music out of thin air 216 Hearing the flute 217 The Piccolo 218 The Oboe 219 Playing the oboe 221 Hearing the oboe 222 The English Horn 223 The Clarinet 223 Transposing instruments 223 Hearing the clarinet 225 The Saxophone 226 The Bassoon 227 Chapter 9: The Top (and Bottom) Brass 231 Making a Sound on a Brass Instrument 232 The French Horn 233 Hunting for notes: The natural horn 234 Adding valves: The modern, treacherous horn 234 Hearing the French horn 235 The Trumpet 236 Tonguing 237 Using mutes 237 Hearing the trumpet 237 The Trombone 238 Sliding around 239 Hearing the trombone 240 The Tuba 241 A gaggle of tubas 241 Hearing the tuba 242 Pet Peeves of the Brassily Inclined 242 Chapter 10: Percussion's Greatest Hits 243 The Timpani 244 Drum roll, please! 246 Hearing the timpani 246 The Bass Drum 246 The Cymbals 247 The Snare Drum 247 The Xylophone 248 Other Xylo-like Instruments 250 More Neat Instruments Worth Banging 250 The triangle 250 The tambourine 252 The tam-tam and gong 253 The castanets 254 The whip 254 The cowbell 255 The ratchet 255 Part 4: Peeking Into The Composer's Brain 257 Chapter 11: The Dreaded Music Theory Chapter 259 I've Got Rhythm: The Engine of Music 260 Dividing up time 260 Feeling the beat 261 Sight-reading for the first time 262 Making notes longer 263 Making notes shorter 264 Adding a dot 265 Taking the final exam 266 Understanding Pitch: Beethoven at 5,000 rpm 267 Performing an experiment for the betterment of mankind 268 12 pitches! 269 Notating pitches 270 Dave 'n' Scott's 99.9999% Key-Determining Method 278 Why we have keys 279 Making the Leap into Intervals 280 The major second 281 The major third 282 The fourth 282 The fifth 283 The major sixth 284 The major seventh 285 The octave 285 Telling the difference: major and minor intervals 286 The minor second 286 The minor third 287 The minor fifth (not!) -- aka the tritone 288 The minor sixth 288 The minor seventh 289 Getting on the Scale 290 Constructing a Melody 292 Getting Two-Dimensional: Piece and Harmony 292 Major, minor, and insignificant chords 293 Friends and relations: harmonic progressions 294 Friends, Romans, chord progressions 295 Listening to the oldies 296 Put in Blender, Mix Well 297 Getting Your Music Theory Degree 298 Chapter 12: Once More, with Feeling: Tempo, Dynamics, and Orchestration 299 Meet the Dynamics Duo: Soft and Loud 300 Honey, I shrunk the LoudSoft(TM) 301 Wearing Italian hairpins 302 Getting into matters of sonic taste 303 Throwing Tempo Tantrums 303 Telling 'Bones from Heckelphones: Orchestration Made Easy 304 Playing with sound colors 304 Notating orchestrations 304 Who's the orchestrator? 305 Part 5: The Part of Tens 307 Chapter 13: The Ten Most Common Misconceptions about Classical Music 309 Classical Music is Boring 309 Classical Music is for Snobs 310 All Modern Concert Music is Hard to Listen to 310 They Don't Write Classical Music Anymore 311 You Have to Dress Up to Go to the Symphony 311 If You Haven't Heard of the Guest Artist, She Can't Be Any Good 311 Professional Musicians Have It Easy 312 The Best Seats Are Down Front 313 Clapping between Movements is Illegal, Immoral, and Fattening 313 Classical Music Can't Change Your Life 314 Chapter 14: The Ten Best Musical Terms for Cocktail Parties 315 Atonal 316 Cadenza 316 Concerto 317 Counterpoint 317 Crescendo 317 Exposition 318 Intonation 318 Orchestration 318 Repertoire 318 Rubato 318 Tempo 319 Using Your New-Found Mastery 319 Chapter 15: Ten Great Classical Music Jokes 321 Master of Them All 321 The Heavenly Philharmonic 322 Brass Dates 322 The Late Maestro 323 Basses Take a Breather 323 Houseless Violist 324 Ludwig's Grave 324 The Weeping Violist 324 Musicians' Revenge 325 One Last Viola Joke 325 Chapter 16: Ten Ways to Get More Music in Your Life 327 Get Involved with Your Orchestra 327 Join a Classical Music Tour 328 Meet the Artists -- Be a Groupie 328 Make Music Friends on the Internet 329 Join an Unlimited Music Service 330 Listen to Your Local Classical Station 330 Load Up on Your Own Recordings 331 Watch Classical Music Movies 332 Study Up on the Classics 333 Make Your Own Music 334 Part 6: The Appendixes 337 Appendix A: Listen to This! Starting a Classical Music Collection 339 List 1: Old Favorites 340 List 2: MILD on the Taste Meter 341 List 3: MEDIUM on the Taste Meter 342 List 4: MEDIUM HOT on the Taste Meter 343 List 5: HOT on the Taste Meter 344 Appendix B: Classical Music Timeline 345 Appendix C: Glossary 353 Index 359