If Christmas had been a Jewish holiday, the laws and customs of Christmas would have been published, perhaps like in this satire. The detailed laws and customs cover the following; Preparing for Christmas including when to start the preparations The tree including the type and size Decorating the tree including the need for symmetry The Christmas lights including the types Gifts and gift giving including when they may be opened and distinguishing between childish and adult gifts The office party including where and when it should take place The festive meals including what should be eaten at each meal Santa Claus; the myths and reality Rituals of the synagogue service for each service including when to say Hallel and with and without a blessing Christmas and Chanukah; distinguishing between them"