If you've ever felt the urge to batter a feral pupil, twat a boorish parent, headbutt an incompetent school manager, kick an Ofsted inspector in the crotch or assassinate a clueless education secretary, there's a pretty good chance you are - or have been - a teacher. Here I share rants, personal experiences and truthful opinions from teaching staff, past and present. Many will make you swear; others will make you sob; and some will send your blood pressure through the roof. But there will be a few laughs in there as well (the sort of stuff we teachers aren't supposed to find funny, but do). An irreverent and often brutal examination of the state of education in Britain today, composed by an angry ex-teacher.