Why do fairy tales usually begin, "Once upon a time, in a strange and far away land"? Could it have been twice upon a time? Why is the land so strange, anyway? And doesn't anything ever happen around here? Why is there always one good fairy available to undo a wicked witch's curse of a baby princess? Is that something the Good Fairies' Local Union put into the collective bargaining agreement? Who is the Wicked Witch, anyway? Why is she always cursing? And what can be done about it?