In 2004, Sam Tranum moved to Turkmenistan, an isolated, totalitarian petrostate bordering Iran and Afghanistan, to serve as a Peace Corps Volunteer. That same year, the Economist magazine predicted his new home would be the worst place in the world to live, despite the fact that its leader, known as Turkmenbashy, insisted that his country was experiencing a Golden Age. This is the story of Tranum's nearly two years in Turkmenistan, dodging secret police, exploring ancient Silk Road cities, covertly teaching classes on democracy and human rights, and learning to appreciate fermented camel's milk.