Animals are running wild on the grand country estate of Swan Crest Farms. So is Mason Figg, an exceedingly charming con artist, forger, and thief, who has a reputation among the neighborhood ladies for being a spectacular dancer. It is this very talent alone that enables him to persuade his naive girlfriend, Valentina, to move into an old cottage that's been left intact on Swan Crest's grounds. He's also convinced her that she is as graceful as a swan.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
In this madcap tale of greed, lust, and parties till dawn, Valentina, a former orphan, narrates her own story about the hazards of a love affair with the sly Mason Figg. Under his spell, she believes she can rumba, salsa, and tango with style, when she actually has two oversized feet and not a lick of rhythm.
Hopelessly in love, she longs to have Mason's baby, but he tells her that they don't have enough money to afford one. Reluctantly, Valentina consents to help Mason in stealing a rare pair of Blue Diamond Peepers from their landlords, Dagmar and Duncan Twist, a couple of lottery winners and animal fanatics who rule Swan Crest Farms.
Before Mason can pull off the heist, Valentina is spooked by a duck, which sets off a series of unfortunate events, not the least of which is Valentina discovering Dagmar dancing with her man--and calling him, "Jou Jou."
"Jou Jou?" Valentina echoes. "When did Mason start speaking French?"
Finally, Valentina comes to her senses. Convinced that Mason's morals have been corrupted while living among the status-seeking Twists, she flees, heading back home to the city, where she believes the two of them rightfully belong. She knows in her heart that Mason will follow her there, and they can live a normal, happy life.
Too bad that Mason has a plan of his own."