Conflicts have been a part of humanity since time immemorial and people have been trying to limit and deal with them for almost as long - be it as victims or as helpers, with greater or lesser success. Because once a conflict system has arisen, when negative expectation structures and with them negative self-evidence and autonomy have developed, it becomes increasingly difficult for those involved to escape: The complexity of our social environment, in which it is not easy for communication anyway is to orientate oneself is hidden. Hurt sense of justice, misunderstandings and unfortunate attempts to correct them alternate. One begins to attribute the causes of the conflict "personally" ("It's up to you! Your fault!"), and to assume negative motives for the conflict partner ("You're only doing it because ...!"), who in turn does the same. A number of well-studied but little-known psychological processes take place within us when we encounter conflict. The indignation about the others is growing, unfortunately mostly on both sides. The merry-go-round slowly begins to turn faster and faster, until... The book places the various psychological mechanisms in the context of a systemic understanding of conflicts and explains ways in which the merry-go-round can be braked and slowed down.