I am the fiercest pirate in the world. This is my beard. You can tell it is real because I cry if you pull it. This is my peg leg. I am borrowing it. This is my hole. We will get to that in a minute. This is my eye patch. It is very convincing at parties. And this is my treasure. You cannot see it, because it is buried. That is what fierce pirates do. You do not believe me? Here-you will dig with me, and then you will see for yourself. A hapless pirate digs for rubies, diamonds, and coins, but after three attempts, two naps, and one lousy map, he's unearthed nothing but a sore back and serious misgivings. Blistering barnacles! It's left to his trusty dog to save the day, and fortunately, he comes through in a big way.