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Don't Roll Your Eyes

Autor Ruth Nemzoff
en Limba Engleză Paperback – 13 sep 2012

More than two million couples wed every year in the United States, bringing together a whole new family unit. The extended family may now include a hard to please mother-in-law who criticizes her daughter-in-law's childrearing; or a patriarchal father-in-law who expects all the kin round the dinner table every Sunday; or a new spouse, who a year or decade out, still gets shellshock visiting the in-laws. If that wasn't cause enough for a stiff drink, more than a million couples divorce each year, creating hard to define family structures. How do families handle the inevitable friction and how do they make sense of evolving family relationships? Ruth Nemzoff, an expert in family dynamics, empowers family members across the generations to define and create lasting bonds, including how to:

*Welcome a new in-law from a different culture and religion into your family.

*Not let differences of politics or philosophy impact quality time with the extended family.

*Respond to major life changes in an in-law's life, including financial crises, illnesses, or career changes.

*Retain warm connections with in-laws even amidst divorce and remarriage.

This is a must read for anyone dealing with a difficult in-law as well as anyone who will soon be welcoming a new member to their family.

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Specificații

ISBN-13: 9780230338999
ISBN-10: 0230338992
Pagini: 244
Ilustrații: black & white illustrations
Dimensiuni: 137 x 206 x 20 mm
Greutate: 0.23 kg
Editura: Palgrave MacMillan
Locul publicării:Basingstoke, United Kingdom

Descriere


A practical and candid look at in-laws that takes stock of how new family members negotiate challenges, and offers guidance on achieving peace. Why do some families find joy in welcoming new members to their clan, while others find it so disagreeable?
 
In her newest book, Don't Bite Your Tongue author and Brandeis scholar Ruth Nemzoff focuses on the complex and difficult in-law relationship, including
* the complexity of the connections between in-law siblings
* how in-law relationships become unhealthy
* the potential tensions and jealousies between the two parental units of in-laws

This is a must-read for anyone dealing with a difficult in-law, as well as anyone who will soon be welcoming a new member to their family.

Cuprins

Introduction: Don't Roll Your Eyes: Make In-Laws into Family
Why Do We Make In-Laws Into Out-Laws: Understanding Why the In-Law Relationship is so Troublesome
Wanting 'In': In-Law Parent's Perspective
How Many People Did I Marry: The Adult Children Speak
Have I Been Displaced: The Siblings Perspective
Dueling and Other In-Law Games: The Two (or more) Sets of In-Laws
In Love, but Not In Law: Un-related In-Laws
Diversity Comes Home: Intermarriage
Whose Kid Is This Anyway: Grandparents and Grandparenting
More Money, More Problems, Less Money, Still Problems
Until Death Do US Part: Prepare for Illness and Death
Do Unto Your In-Laws: Helpful Hints
Appendix I: Films and Videos
Appendix II: Suggested Websites

Recenzii

"Offering plentiful composite case studies, the fair-minded, inclusive, and congenial Nemzoff doesn't promise quick solutions and realizes some problems are unsolvable, but she focuses on helpful ways to improve relationships that with time and effort can be fixed." - Publishers Weekly

"Family therapists know that the main difference between humans and animals is that humans maintain relationships with their in-laws.Ruth Nemzoff's Don't Roll Your Eyes is a trenchant and insightful exploration of that species-specific behavior." - Brad Sachs, PhD, author of Emptying the Nest

"Indispensable advice! Ruth Nemzoff's recipe for healthy in-law relationships rests on impeccable research and a wealth of real-life experience, but it is also well-seasoned with a depth of wisdom and common sense that is truly exceptional. Her straightforward strategies make this book the perfect wedding gift - not just for the bride and groom but for their parents and siblings too." - Gina Stepp, Family and Relationships Editor - Vision Media

"Ruth Nemzoff thinks wisely and deeply about family connections. She presents a carefully nuanced consideration of this oldest of topics. Don't Roll Your Eyes has something to teach everyone. It would make a wonderful gift to any family member and is an essential addition to the bookshelf of any professional working with families." - Judy Osborne, author of Wisdom for Separated Parents

"With her characteristic wisdom and wit, Ruth Nemzoff treads into the minefield of in-law relationships, from extended families to grandchildren, money, religion, and myriad other issues.She offers examples and expert advice to help us keep in-laws from turning into out-laws. An indispensible field guide for generations on both sides of the in-law divide." - Mary W. Quigley, www.mothering.21.com, NYU professor and author

"Dr. Nemzoff's clarity and candor, wit and wisdom really shine through. She is not afraid to tackle any issue, any modern permutation of the extended family in the 21st century." - Joan Wise, former general counsel AARP

"Offering plentiful composite case studies, the fair-minded, inclusive, and congenial Nemzoff doesn't promise quick solutions and realizes some problems are unsolvable, but she focuses on helpful ways to improve relationships that with time and effort can be fixed." - Publishers Weekly"Family therapists know that the main difference between humans and animals is that humans maintain relationships with their in-laws.Ruth Nemzoff's Don't Roll Your Eyes is a trenchant and insightful exploration of that species-specific behavior." - Brad Sachs, PhD, author of Emptying the Nest"Indispensable advice! Ruth Nemzoff's recipe for healthy in-law relationships rests on impeccable research and a wealth of real-life experience, but it is also well-seasoned with a depth of wisdom and common sense that is truly exceptional. Her straightforward strategies make this book the perfect wedding gift - not just for the bride and groom but for their parents and siblings too." - Gina Stepp, Family and Relationships Editor - Vision Media"Ruth Nemzoff thinks wisely and deeply about family connections. She presents a carefully nuanced consideration of this oldest of topics. Don't Roll Your Eyes has something to teach everyone. It would make a wonderful gift to any family member and is an essential addition to the bookshelf of any professional working with families." - Judy Osborne, author of Wisdom for Separated Parents"With her characteristic wisdom and wit, Ruth Nemzoff treads into the minefield of in-law relationships, from extended families to grandchildren, money, religion, and myriad other issues.She offers examples and expert advice to help us keep in-laws from turning into out-laws. An indispensible field guide for generations on both sides of the in-law divide." - Mary W. Quigley, www.mothering.21.com, NYU professor and author"Dr. Nemzoff's clarity and candor, wit and wisdom really shine through. She is not afraid to tackle any issue, any modern permutation of the extended family in the 21st century." - Joan Wise, former general counsel AARP

Notă biografică

RUTH NEMZOFF, EdD is the author of Don't Bite Your Tongue, and a popular speaker on the topic of parenting adult children and family dynamics, and in 2010 alone she spoke at 30 events. Ruth was profiled or interviewed for many national and local papers and radio and television, including The Boston Globe, The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, Jewish Advocate, and InterFaith Family. She is a resident scholar at Brandeis University's Women's Studies Research Center, and lives in Boston, USA.

Caracteristici

In-laws have been at each other's throats forever. Nemzoff taps into an issue facing millions across the global and provides real, down-to-earth solutions that can ease tension at home
Most books on the shelf focus on the mother-in-law, daughter-in-law relationship, but Nemzoff provides solutions for the entire family to work together
Strong sales for Don't Bite Your Tongue: Nemzoff's first book had strong, consistent sales, over 9,000 since publication