Don't Shoot! I'm Just the Avon Lady!: Selections from the Holding Patterns Blog

Birdie hawks Avon at a strip club, a bowling alley on Men's League Night, and of course door-to-door. She meets customers who answer the door naked, who want to buy wrinkle cream for their pet monkey, or who are harboring dark - and funny - secrets. She even sells Avon to celebrities who want to keep their zits a secret

The book captures Birdie's complicated and hilarious relationship with the cosmetics giant - and her customers - and reveals a surprising and touching account of her personal life.

Birdie's stories have appeared in many online and print journals as well as on National Public Radio.

Birdie's blog on which this memoir is based, has been featured in the New York Times, Time Magazine, the Wall Street Journal, and Positive Thinking magazine.