This "how to" guide, or perhaps a "how not to" guide to living in China covers... -How a dream fortold of a wife and life in China. -Birth and death in local Chinese hospitals. -Getting a Chinese driver's license, somewhat nefariously. -Using a PLA motorcycle with sidecar as the "family car." -What to do when you knock over a cyclist in China. -Racing to North Korea on a motorized Flying Pigeon bicycle. -Playing hockey against Chinese olympians. -Covert ops to the Dalai Lama's family home. -How to be Canadian in China. -Getting tomahawked in a Chinese hockey brawl.