Before sobriety. Before stability. Before Madonna went brunette again. As a closeted, suburbs-bred grad student by day, hummus-slinging, hard-partying twentysomething by night in turn-of-the-millennium New York, Ryan Heath is in a state of arrested development. Grappling with his sense of self after a series of soul-searing events - discovering a live-in boyfriend's sordid double life, a decadent weekend binge, the OD of a loved one - Ryan turns to these pages to confess his extreme clubbing, blackout drinking, reckless substance abuse, hooking up with guys and girls ... and how this cocktail of crazy leads to both embracing his sexuality and achieving sobriety. This humorous, poignant memoir touches upon the universal mission for self-respect and joy and stars a cast of colorful personalities as they bounce around legendary NYC nightlife venues like Limelight, Twilo, and Roxy in a post-AIDS, pre-9/11 sliver of time littered with designer drugs and soundtracked by classic house club anthems.