Fat, Drunk, and Bipolar

For years, all Lynn Bryan Johnson saw in the mirror was a big, fat loser-a sad, angry, self-loathing waste of a person. She walked with her head lowered, unable to deal with being alive.

Johnson lives with bipolar disorder, a frequently misunderstood mental illness characterized by episodic depression and mania. The disease contributed, at least in part, to her alcoholism. When depressed, she feels suicidal. When caught in the grip of mania, she experiences intense rages, or a state of self-destructive euphoria.

In "Fat, Drunk, and Bipolar," Johnson invites readers to explore her world from the inside out, sharing the thoughts, feelings, and actions that result from living with a debilitating mental illness. Nothing is sugarcoated; everything is real. And while often dark, Johnson's writing betrays a sharp sense of humor that survives despite the constant war within her.

Beginning with her childhood, Johnson shows how bipolar disorder touched every aspect of her life, from the uncertainties of adolescence and college to family life and finding her place in the world. And while there's no cure, she learns something of great value. She's not a loser-she's a warrior, fighting a lifelong battle against overwhelming odds.