A dedicated cocktail maker and moistener, Dr. Keith Pepperell has enjoyed a varied career as a college professor, nationally touring stand-up comedian (as alter ego Keith Collins), shepherd (one night), documentary producer, TV historian, radio show host, and custodian of a wibbly-wobbly castle. This little book presents five murderous cocktails that resulted in terribly bad behaviour including, extradition from Albania, launching a wibbly-wobbly castle with a small child aboard, scalding the groin of a Prime Minister, hijacking a bus of elderly Turkish women, and being rescued by an Algerian gun boat while burying a chicken at sea. Readers are encouraged not to mimic this dreadful behavior, not to drink and drive, to avoid The French, and stay moist at all times so as to avoid becoming fetid, flaccid, or desiccated.