Footballs Biggest Ever Joke Book

They say it's a funny old game - well, it is now, anyway

This fabulously funny football joke book is a must have companion for all devotees of the beautiful game. With over 1000 mostly original gags, it's guaranteed to have you in stitches and choking on your half time cup of Bovril. Good, clean fun, it would be equally at home in the hands of kids or grandparents, while still providing ample ammunition to consign your mates down the pub to an early bath.

All you need to do to become immersed in this maelstrom of madcap mayhem is find a quiet corner somewhere then slowly turn the page...

Enjoy

The letterbox rattled and this eight foot length of six-by-four landed with a thump on the carpet. I shouted, the post has arrived, darling.

I spotted Rio Ferdinand on his way home from the big game with a mannequin under his arm. I thought, whey hey, someone's sold him a dummy.

Did you hear about the footballer who couldn't stop burping? It was a freak hic'.

All this criticism of Rafa Benitez for playing a flat back four is bang out of order if you ask me. What else was he expected to do when his defence had just been run over by a steamroller?

What did the manager of the Potato Growers' Association football team say during the half time team talk? It's all about Desiree...

Sportsflash: Animal rights activists are camped outside Manchester United's training ground after it was announced Wayne Rooney has injured a calf.

I've just turned down a dream move to Paris Saint Germain. I must have been in Seine.

Rumour has it the manager of the TV aerial company football team resigned just before midnight. No doubt we'll get a better picture in the morning.

We lost 1-0 to Battersea Dogs Home. Jack Russell got the winner.

I saw this big, pink footballer, with yellow spots, and strands of hair combed carefully across his scalp. It was Blobby Charlton.