Tired of the Right sprouting like weeds in the upcoming election? Worried that nut jobs will try to legislate your body or take away Social Security? Scared that the Teapublicans will slaughter you and harvest your cat for her soft, luxurious fur? Totally bummed that Colbert and Stewart are moving on to greener pastures? "Amen," brothers and sisters But what's a liberal to do? "Going Squatch: Tales of a Politician Gone Rogue" cures what ails ya. These memoirs might remind you of a certain conservative politician . . . or all of them Laugh as you watch Sara Plain go from her beauty pageant days to imprisonment for killing five men. Scoff as Sara makes a thing of running off with cryptids. Plotz as Sara becomes President of the United States of America. But then laugh again, because hey, it's fiction, and a mighty odd tale at that, with Bigfoot and Wolfman and hookers, oh my It's hyper sexual, terribly silly, and roasts the ever-loving nuts off the Right. So if the elephants' tea parties are getting you down, check out this breath of climate-defying snowy-summer goodness. 9 out of 10 liberals say, "Mmm-mmm-good." "This book doesn't suck "-For Facts' Sake News "Conservative propaganda at its absolute worst "-The Muffington Post "The good news is that Sara Plain can apparently type. The bad news is that Sara Plain can apparently type."-The Daily Blow "Ms. Plain is a true patriot and a Constitutional scholar."-Sen. Ted Luz "The facts come fast and furious. Mrs. Plain tells the Lord's own gospel so well that it made me go and get my crucifix out and polish it, over and over and over again until it wept with joy. Anyone have a tissue?"-Rick Sanctimonious "I might have to make her my running mate, if she can remember her place "-Jeb Tush "She's a woman of some renown, fluid morals, and nominal abilities."-Sen. Jon McStain "This book made my head hurt. So many words "-Michele Crockmann "Nobody builds like I do. Nobody Oh, uh, Sara who's book?"-Donald Rump "I declare, this is a woman after my own heart. If only she were a Southerner, she'd fit right in with her love of the outdoors and dead animals and stuff."-Sen. Lindsey Glam "I had this book read to me, and I liked it almost as much as when Unka Dick read to me and tucked me in at night. I miss Unka Dick."-Pres. George "Wiggle Me" Tush