Grief, The Year of Firsts

Eddie and I lived a simple life. We always said we loved our boring lives and didn't care for a lot of drama. We went along for thirty-two years of marriage together. We weren't always the happiest couple, and we weren't always the saddest either, but somehow we always found a way to live one more day together. We took our marriage for granted a lot of times.

When Eddie got sick, our lives changed. We saw each other in different eyes. I saw him getting more heavenly minded. I saw him praying and talking to the Lord more. I saw him kinder and loving more, and I changed and fell back in love with him. I began realizing that he was getting weaker, and I became more afraid of losing him, and when I did, my heart was broken.

This is the journey of the first year without him. It is the year of firsts--the first Christmas, the first New Year, the first anniversary without him, the first time of doing taxes, the first birthdays without him, and everything else. It is a journey of love, forgiveness, grief, and every other emotions that I endured. It is holding on to the Lord with everything I had left and realizing that the Lord gave me the greatest gift of all, the assurance Eddie made it to heaven and the gift of love that mended our marriage.

I pray this book will help others who are going through this journey of the year of firsts.