All my life included feeling awkward, not fitting in, low self-esteem, bullying, mental illness, arson, theft, vandalism, special education, depression, marijuana addiction, alcoholism, drug abuse, sexual promiscuities, suicide, encounters with the law, accidents, illnesses, and more. The different paths taken over the years led me down an even more destructive cycle experiencing despair, loss of meaning, fear, and insanity. I finally realized for myself that I had a huge problem. No longer did I feel any doctor, medicine, or drug could ever help me manage anything in my life. My chance at any future was hopeless. The last little bit of power I thought within me was extinguished. There were a few horrible ways this could have ultimately ended. Luckily, I found the road to recovery including the 12 steps. This part of my story explains in great detail the very beginning of my new life and the first five years afterward. That takes me to the point of writing this book. Doing this was my way of expressing gratitude and trying to carry a message to others who feel alone and without hope like I once did. There is hope