Recently, I became poor. It's disgusting, and it means God loves me less than he loves you. I know my tragic penury won't last forever-but in case you, too, have been fired for something you said, deplatformed for something you believe, or just abruptly cut off from your trust fund, this book will explain how to navigate life when you are unexpectedly yanked from privilege and told to, err, earn a living. Pay close attention to the tips I've picked up, and you might just make it out alive-and with minimal split ends. Milo Yiannopoulos is an award-winning journalist, a New York Times-bestselling author, an international political celebrity, a free speech martyr, a comedian, an accomplished entrepreneur, a hair icon, a penitent and, to the annoyance of his many enemies, an exceedingly happy person. He is the most censored, most lied-about man in the world, banned from stepping foot on entire continents for his unapologetic commitment to free expression.