How to Write Parodies and Become Immortal is an uproarious instruction book full of parody, irony, satire, bizarre wit, lab specimens, and secretly encoded recipes for doing unspeakable things with lard. The book is based on a unique and radical theory of parody, but its approach to parodic creation is so user-friendly that publication of the book may result in a shortage of agricultural workers: multitudes may be seduced into deserting the zucchini fields in order to devote their lives to the creation of parodies. For individuals this volume will empower would-be parodists to supercharge their creative fires and to transcend the common run of humanity, the "little people" whose lives are no more than blockages in the intestines of Time. Transformed by newly-acquired parodic skills, the budding paro-artiste may qualify for a listing in Who's Who in Mammalia while emerging as a "Holy Fool," a creature fit for service as an all-purpose television "Pundit" and as a dispenser of the written equivalent of Cold Dark Matter. This book is also ideally suited for college composition courses, but it should never be assigned to these academic cattle drives because the classes would be fun, and the results might be useful.