There were moments when I silently thought about how much easier it would be to lie down and die than to live with the pain inside me after I lost my son. I never considered suicide - not even close - but at times death felt like the only way to escape the constant torture of my life. Honestly writing about my inner pain feels vulnerable at best, but my hope is that my story will reach someone who is feeling hopeless. No matter what type of pain you are experiencing, my intention here is to illustrate that each one of us has a pool of inner strength residing inside of us. We have no idea of what we can survive until we are standing in the doorway of a tragedy and making the decision to survive.