This new collection of Jason Johnson's satirical essays include "Your Baby Is Ugly," "Profiles in Douchery," "Lies, Damn Lies, and Fake Boobies," "The NRA Is Full of Spit," "Just Being Insane Doesn't Make You a Libertarian," and the truly magical "69 Is a Magic Number." Johnson targets a wide range of American embarrassments, including Hollywood ("Let Jason Pick the Oscars!"), corporate greed ("Shove Massey up His Assey"), his Christmas dinner with former House Speaker John Boehner ("My Republican Holiday"), and of course, farts. Many of these essays appear here unexpurgated for the first time, with nary a fart joke cut for the sake of space, taste, or quality.