Turn your passions into walls and live inside them until they grow old and collapse and crush you. It's the only way to live and it's the only way to die. This collection picks up where someday i'm going to marry Katy Perry left off. Off-center, quirky and endearingly puerile, this heteroclite collection of prose is full of twisted metaphors and turned similes, and author Calvero plods indefatigably across the pages as a most unlikely hero. Calvero is Everyman's champion. He struggles with Everyman's problems, he suffers Everyman's insecurities, he endures Everyman's heartache. He holds nothing back. No posturing, no pretense, just honest individuality. His absence of guile and complete dismissal of social graces are a welcome deviation from convention. The author's playful humor is explicit; the implicit depth will take you by surprise. You come away from his work a little wiser, a little happier, a little more empathetic, but you're not exactly sure why. i want love so great it makes Nicholas Sparks cream in his pants is a wonderfully bizarre glimpse into the remarkably unremarkable. The work is rich, raw and vastly rewarding.