In this memoir I attempt to trace the threads of my life story, wanting to gain some clarity about the sources of my distress as an adult. Some of the roots of my traumas lie in the fact that I am a daughter of Holocaust survivors and I spent my early years in a totalitarian regime. I traveled with my family from Romania to Israel and eventually to the US. Over decades, I engaged in deep inner work, psychological as well psychospiritual. I was trained as a research biologist and became radicalized as a lesbian feminist in the sciences. Despite the fact that my marriage to a beautiful woman did not last forever, we have cultivated (and continue to) an incredible relationship of love, kindness and care. I speak with honesty and opness about my process, relationships, traumas and accomplishments.