I haven't fallen down in days. That may not seem like much, but my God, it's such an accomplishment. Being made to stand and kneel repeatedly while he performs his rituals is exhausting and I'm pretty sure that the welts on the bottom of my feet are ready to pop. My knees. They're bruised, covered in dry blood and cuts; but I won't fall down. I can't fall down; that means he wins again and I get put down in the oubliette. Being in the dark never scared me, being alone was something I used to cherish until he took me. I just want to find the light now. I want to find the warm place that he tells me so much about; the place where he says all of this pain will make sense. I won't fall down again. I can't. Not before I find my peace in the light. I have to do it soon because I'm not sure how much more I can take. Miserere mei sunt.