When Jeanette became a Christian she hoped that - over time, as others have experienced - she would find her sexual orientation changed sufficiently to consider marriage and possibly even children. It was not to be. God had something different, but not less valuable and fulfilling, in mind. "Living in a conversely hopeful/hopeless land of possible change had left me exhausted, powerless and well short of the promised abundant life. In accepting that my attractions, if fostered, would lead to a reoccurrence of lesbian behaviour proved beneficial. An unseen, and largely unknown, barrier between Jesus and me was demolished. Relating to him from the position of who I am, and not from who I would like to be, released a greater intimacy..." So, what is the 'promised land'? What is our reward for faithful, chaste commitment? Is it all worth it? Put simply, it is resting in God's perfect plan for our life. The wilderness years are the years of re-creation in the image of Christ. The wilderness teaches us strength and security and to discover joy in unexpected places. The wilderness provides us with the courage to discover the land - our transformed mind, body and soul.