It Must Be Hard?

Try sat patiently waiting - for his own wedding day.

Cold sweat sprung out from his brow as he glanced up at the kitchen clock, terrified that while he had been down the cellar for no more than a few minutes, it may have spun around another hour and that he would be running late already. Clocks had a habit of doing this to Try. He would be patiently sitting down, completely prepared for a perfectly timed event, and then, like that story about the hare and tortoise, he would get up and do a little job to fill in the time, only to find out that all of a sudden he was now late.
Or was it a porpoise?
Thankfully, the clock had maintained its steady pace, and he still had at least an hour to go before he had to leave. Everything, apart from his shoe, which now had a staple sticking into his big toe, was meticulously planned and on track.
'Don't be daft, ' said Logic, 'a porpoise is a fish, isn't it? A hare wouldn't race against a fish would it?'
'It might ' argued Sceptic. 'Maybe it was a race along the riverbank?'
'I'm not sure porpoise live in rivers?'
'Well, perhaps it was at the seaside, and the fish swam in the shallows while the hare ran along the cliff?'
'No. Pretty sure it was a tortoise, ' said Logic, nodding his head. There was a bland silence in Try's brain for a few seconds until Sceptic said:
'A bit unfair, isn't it? I mean, your average tortoise isn't going to catch a bloody hare, is it? Unless it had a turbo-engine or something?'
'It was just a story, Sep. Just a kid's story.'
'No bloody wonder all the kids are confused then, if someone tells them a crustacean can outrun one of the fastest creatures on earth. What a load of nonsense Who writes this stuff?'
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More hilarious adventures of Trevor - TRY -Hard. This time he is getting married to the fearful Mimosa, a Polish immigrant, but when they move into a small suburban house, Try's gardening exploits get rather interesting.
Are frogs supposed to be that colour?
And why has his neighbour got a loaf of bread on her head?
Anyway, what are all those weeds in the greenhouse.....?