Flying Saucers is a diner in Seven Pines, Pennsylvania, bearing memories of, well...depends who you ask. For Johnny Flash--fastest cook in Westmoreland County--it's all folk legend: speed, weed, and greed. Something, in all categories, Gray Palmer might know too much about. That's cool, so long as UFO "enthusiasts" keep buying his self-published books. Just Moody, Flying Saucers' founder, has read them all--even the good ones. Agoraphobia provides quality reading time, when he's not straining his 67-year-old bones supervising Kat (willowy Slavic import who mixes a groovy white-trash Russian), Billy (big-hearted prankster; master absinthe bootlegger), and the Polack (hot for Kat and drumming for local "low-rock" band, Dangerous Loners). For all in Saucers and Seven Pines, the craziness of everyday survival is about to change. An Internet leak, claiming the town hides a deadly Cold War relic, pulls in strangers. UFO sightings (or military hoaxes?) mount. So does bizness--good and ill. Bacon and bullets please--the future holds a gun. And one pissed-off Russian spook. Considering Saucers' fine eclectic menu, who cares if reality is eroding? Was it ever here at all? You can't be worrying about that shit. Life goes on. Stoic Johnny Flash is gonna have the weirdest--and fastest --week of his life. For a guy so stark-raving sane, that oughta be easy...right? An uneasy mix of THE BIG LEBOWSKI and THE X-FILES, filtered through Cold War ghosts and a low-rock soundtrack capable of rendering an old-school Tom Waits hangover.