"Wear a SMILE. It's neat and attracts attention It increases your face-value." "You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing." Foreword Even the best stand-up comic cannot recall jokes. This joke book is necessary codigo to recall jokes handily. Jokes are for all occasions and for all people in all walks of life. Jokes remove cares and concerns. They make you forget your problems. People who tell jokes become the life of the party. Anybody for that matter can become a comic by just reading from this book. Actually, these jokes are recycled or modified jokes retold many times in the past and openly distributed in the internet. Jokes are sometimes hard to recall. This is a tribute to all writers and composers of jokes to make the world a better place to live in. SAMPLE JOKES: Baker Ba Ako? Wife: Hon, paki fix naman ilaw sa labas. Husband: Hello ? Electrician ba ako? Wife: Eh, di pakigawa na lang hagdan natin. Husband: Hello ? Karpintero ba ako? Umalis si Husband, pagbalik gawa na lahat ng sira sa bahay. Husband: Okay ka, hon. Gawa na lahat ang sira. Sino gumawa ng trabaho.? Wife: Kasi kanina a man saw me crying, sabi ko dami sira dito sa bahay. So he offered to help in exhange of either sex o bake-a-cake. Husband: So pinag-bake mo siya ng cake? Wife: Hello? Baker ba ako? Bakla-1 Bakla at Macho nagkasabay sa CR... Bakla: Ang laki naman nyan sayo... Macho: Wala na tong silbi kasi iniwan na ako ng GF ko... puputulin ko na lang at ipapakain sa aso Bakla: Bow aw aw Bow..aw Bakla-2 Farmer: Lalaki na talaga ang aking anak kasi magsasaka na. Ano ang plano mong itanim sa sakahan mo anak? Anak: Flowers papa Lots of Bongacious Flowers Bakla-3 Ama: Hoy Huwag kang babakla bakla ha? Anak: Hindi po Itay, pupunta nga ako ng basketbolan eh Ama: Yan Astig Anak: Inay? Nakita mo yung POMPOMS ko? Ina: Alin? Yung pink? Baliw NURSE: Nasa isip mo ba pamilya mo? BALIW: Siyempre man 00 Nurse natuwa..] NURSE: Asan ba pamilya mo? BALIVV: Nasa isip ko. Tanga ba you? Bananas Mother superior at the grocery: "I would like to have 8 bananas for the convent." Sales Clerk: Ma'am Sister, it's much cheaper if you buy by the dozen, instead of just 8. Mother superior: Oh well, we could always EAT the other 4.