Foreword Even the best stand-up comic cannot recall jokes. This joke book is necessary codigo or guide to recall jokes handily. Jokes are for all occasions and for all people in all walks of life. Jokes remove cares and concerns. They make you forget your problems. People who tell jokes become the life of the party. Anybody for that matter can become a comic by just reading from this book. Actually, these jokes are recycled or modified jokes retold many times in the past and openly distributed in the internet. Jokes are sometimes hard to recall. This is a tribute to all writers and composers of jokes to make the world a better place to live in. This book is free to read online. Just email your request. These jokes are recorded for posterity and nothing else. "Wear a SMILE. It's neat and attracts attention It increases your face-value." "You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing." Sample Jokes: Applicant Nag-aapply si Tomas na security guard... Interviewer: Ang kailangan namin ay taong laging may suspicious mind, highly alert, insistent personality, strong sense of hearing with a killer instinct. Sa tingin mo ba qualified ka? Tomas: Sa palagay ko po hindi. Pwede po bang yun misis ko nalang ang mag-apply? Very qualified siya dito. Arab and Ilocano An Arab Sheikh was admitted to the Philippine Heart Center in Manila for a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his blood in case need arises. As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally, so, the call went out to a number of provinces. Finally an Ilocano was located who had a similar type of blood. The Ilocano willingly donated his blood for the Arab. After the surgery, the Arab sent the Ilocano as appreciation for giving his blood, a new Toyota Prado, diamonds, jewelry, and a million US dollars. Once again the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the Ilocano who was more than happy to donate his blood again. After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Ilocano a thank you card and a jar of Almond halwa sweets.. The Ilocano was shocked that the Arab this time did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had anticipated. He phoned the Arab and asked him: "I thought that you would be generous again, that you would again give me a Toyota Prado, Money, Diamonds and Jewelry...but you only gave me a thank you card and a jar of Almond sweets " To this the Arab replied: "Manong....I now have Ilocano blood in my veins." Arab Interview An Arab was being inter-viewed at a US check-point. 'Your name please?' 'Abdul Aziz ' 'Sex? ' 'Six times a week ' 'No, no, I mean male or female ' 'Doesn't matters, sometimes even camel ' Back to Earth There were three men who died and before God would let them into heaven, God gave them a chance to go back to earth as anything they wanted. The first guy said, " I want to come back as myself, but 100 times smarter." So God made him 100 times smarter. The second guy said, "I want to be better than that guy, make me 1000 times smarter."So God made him 1000 times smarter. The last guy decided he would be the best. So he said, "God, make me better than both of them, make me 1,000,000 times smarter.