TABLE OF CONTENTS PERSONALITIES - p6 CHAPTER 1. Okay, Who Took My Balisong - p6 Part 1. Hark The Angel In Batangas - p6 Part 2. Batanguenos Are Too Much - p7 Part 3. Cavite Created Batangas - p7 Part 4. The Bad Luck Bride - p9 Part 5. Senator Maria K. K. - p11 Part 6. Chiching, The Great Censor - p12 Part 7. Where Is My Balisong? - p12 CHAPTER 2. US Vice President Dan Quayle - p13 Part 1. Erap is brighter than Dan Quayle - p13 Part 2. Dan Quayle, prince of fools, certified idiot - p14 CHAPTER 3. Cipriano Primicias - p15 Part 1. Maramba- Primicias Feud - p15 Part 2. A Streak Of Madness in the Pangasinense - p16 Part 3. Primicias was ousted by Americans - p17 Part 4. Primicias and the Stonehill farce - p18 Part 5. I am proud to be the nephew of Primicias - p20 CHAPTER 4. The Obnoxious Dutchman - p21 Part 1. The Dutch Treat of Chris Weeda - p21 Part 2. The obnoxious Dutchman - p22 Part 3. Three e-mail messages from a Dutchman - p23 Part 4. Worse than ignorance, is stupidity - p24 Part 5. Chris Weeda, sphincter ani - p25 CHAPTER 5. Chinese Cronies of Erap - p26 Part 1. Chinese cronies owe me money they do not pay - p26 Part 2. Chinese crony beheads a balut vendor - p27 CHAPTER 6. Octopus Dei - p28 Part 1. Opus Dei qui tollis pecuniam mundi - p28 Part 2. Priests are saintly, human but some are satanic - p30 Part 3. The Secret World of the Opus Dei - p31 Part 4. Kowtowing to the rich, distaste for the poor - p32 Part 5. Opus Dei's demolition job on Sister Christine Tan (1) - p33 Part 6. Poison pen letter from Father Cremades' lackeys (2) - p34 Part 7. Opus Dei puts down Sister Christine's Good Shepherd (3) - p36 Part 8. Opus Dei weaseling its way to power (4) - p37 Part 9. Opus Dei was bleeding DBP and PCSO for funds (5) - p38 Part 10. Opus Dei: ask the Lord for money (Rumasa 1) - p39 Part 11. Rumasa as an Opus milking cow (Rumasa 2) - p40 Part 12. Terrifying obedience led to Rumasa's downfall (Rumasa 3) - p41 Part 13. Rumasa money funneled to the Opus Dei (Rumasa 4) - p42 THIS DAY OF DAYS - p43 CHAPTER 1. The day I almost died: the alternative to a Heart Bypass - p43 Part 1. I Made Medical History - p43 Part 2. Vainly waiting for the new stent - p44 Part 3. The best laid plans of Mice and Men - p45 Part 4. New angioplasty makes heart by-pass obsolete - p46 Part 5. Now available to anyone who needs - p48 CHAPTER 2. Valentine's Day - p49 Part 1. Great Loves are born to die - p49 Part 2. The greatest love story ever told - p50 Part 3. Ships that passed in the night - p51 Part 4. Julius Caesar, Mark Antony and Cleopatra - p52 Part 5. How do I love thee? - p53 Part 6. Monica and Paula are nothing but sluts (1) - p56 Part 7. Kenneth Starr is the ultimate asshole (2) - p57 Part 8. Clinton the tragic Shakespearean hero (3) - p58 Part 9. Hey, Har-Monica, play a tune on my organ (4) - p59 CHAPTER 3. All Saints Day - p60 Part 1. Patron saints of witches, pimps and whores - p60 Part 2. When the Saints go marching in - p62 Part 3. Those named Santos were the bastards of priests - p63 CHAPTER 4. Father's Day - p64 Part 1. 100 Years Ago Today, My Destiny was Born - p64 Part 2. To be old and to remember - p65 Part 3. To Live Again - p67 CHAPTER 5. Earth day: God is born - p68 CHAPTER 6. September 11, 2001, the Day of Terror - p69 Part 1. Terrorist Attack on the United States - p69 Part 2. Attack ended forever America's isolation - p70 Part 3. Open societies can't win against terrorists - p71 Part 4. Is Israel worth the wrath of Arab terrorists? - p72 Part 5. Muslims are not the devils we are led (MORE INSIDE)