In your early adult years, you think that you know it all. Well that's how I was looking back on my life. Nearly nineteen-years later, it's true what they say, you always learn by your mistakes, mistakes make you into a stronger person. Boy, did I make a hell of a lot of mistakes. I never thought that my life would turn out the way that it did. There are only four things that I would never regret, my four beautiful children. They were, and still are, my saving grace, my redemption of sorts. When the darkness became too much, thoughts of them would pull me into the light. This is my story, it's not a story that is all sweetness and light. It's a story of love, regret, devastation, darkness and maybe a little redemption. So here we are, I shall start from the beginning. Part One ***Disclaimer- Some of the content in this book can cause triggers for some. Also, contains profanity, erotic scenes and only suitable for readers 18+***