Roxanne Whatley was in an abusive marriage so devastating she only escaped death because she has an odd anomaly from birth, otherwise her skull would have cracked open when her husband threw her out of their speeding car. Determined to become a survivor, and not stay a victim, she sought answers to the questions that plague us all when it comes to domestic violence and spousal abuse. Her research took her into psychology, biology, philosophy and anthropology - the varied studies of us as human beings. Then she began working with other women and men who were trying to break free from their own abusive relationships. Her work has encompassed the last twenty years, helping hundreds of women and families find their healthy, and find their safety, from domestic violence. She healed herself along the way, and calls the process "learning to live in shadow and light." Domestic violence needs the silence and darkness to thrive, it feeds on secrecy. In the light of day it is diminished. Those who have been abused need the shadow of their safety, the skill of being invisible, after coming through the depths of the trauma that is domestic violence. To be healthy, survivors also need to learn to live in the light with everyone else. This book takes the reader through domestic violence from inside relationships, including potent and overwhelming honesty about what Roxanne went through in her own relationship and life. The stories are heart rending. The wisdom she shares is full and beneficial. The suggestions to interrupt the patterns of violence - practical and reasonable. She invites, urges, and supports better questions so we can discover better answers. The truth of domestic violence is that right now your mother, your sister, your daughter, or your friend is being abused. They just can't tell you, they can't tell anyone. This book helps her help herself, but helps all of us who love that woman to be there for her. Together we can interrupt and solve domestic violence. This book is a great place to start.