"To me the sound of a metal bottle cap unscrewing against a glass bottle is the worst sound in the world. To my husband it is heaven." This true account is my story. My personal observations and feelings as I lived with a husband addicted to alcohol, on a roller coaster ride of hope and despair, love and loathing, embarrassment and anger, dreading each day. I was isolated, confused and upset that I was not doing enough to help him. You become worn down by the windscreen wiper mentality. The good guy, bad guy, drinking, not drinking, telling the truth, lying, worrying, hope, please not this time, maybe he will stop - or maybe I am going mad - perhaps it is me. This is the life I have written about. How I slowly came to realize that I was always waiting, wanting him to change. Trying to change him. Wrong. It had to be me who changed. I describe how I reached these conclusions, the choices I made and acted upon, to improve my life. Without implementing change, everything will stay the same as it is now. In writing this book I hope that some one else who lives with an alcoholically dependant person can be helped. We are not going mad. We did not cause the problem. We alone cannot change the alcoholic. We must change ourselves in order to get our life back.