Lukewarm Bathwater or Apocalypse?

The God of Apocalypse is due to sign the contract entitling him to humanity's future. However, the God of Lukewarm Bathwater utilises an obscure law which states that a hero must be picked to go on a quest and if successful he will be the immortal signing the contract.

The most unlikely of heroes is chosen. His name is Wilfred and he is a garden penguin salesman with ears that would make any self-respecting elephant go green with envy. He must go on a quest to rescue a princess who is due to become the main course at a feast being held by a goblin warlord called Groinchewer.

Sounds simple? Far from it. Wilfred is chased by goblin wolf riders, imprisoned by trolls and harassed by a crack unit of Siberian hamsters. He meets a strange group of companions and regularly wishes for a spare pair of underpants during his misadventures.

Will Wilfred and his odd squad be successful or will they meet their ends being excruciatingly tickled to death by trolls?

'There's no doubt that Mr Page can write professionally and fluently... He compares his work with that of Terry Pratchett, and this isn't an empty boast. Parts of the novel are very funny and there are many neat one-liners' - Curtis Brown (one of the UK's leading literary agencies)