When I moved to California, I was utterly unprepared. What I thought I needed were the basics: driver's license, proof of residence, etc. It didn't take long for me to realize I was in for a wild ride. What I thought was simply a move to a new state felt much more like a detour into a foreign country. What I should have packed:

• Detective license
• DNA test strips
• Video camera
• Tape recorder
• Camera with professional zoom lens
• Patience
• Law degree
• A Smith & Wesson
• A trail of gluten-free breadcrumbs to find my way back to my home state.